Have you ever worked on a friend or relative, or would you ask a colleague to do that?

I helped prepare my grandmother and embalmed my cousin and one of my high school teachers. I would draw the line at mom or dad. Although I do know of a few embalmers who have embalmed their parents. Those of us who choose to handle the preparation of our friends and loved ones usually do so because we feel as though we can do the best job restoring their natural appearance because we knew them so well in life. It is difficult, but it's a labor of love.

Is it true that they have to 'wire' people's jaws shut, and put 'velcro' contact lenses in people's eyes, and stuff their cheeks with cotton wool? And is it true that the last thing that everybody ever does is evacuate their bowels?

The mouth can be closed by suture or by using a device that involves placing two small tacks (one anchored in the mandible and the other in the maxilla) in the jaw. The tacks have wires that are then twisted together to hold the mouth closed. This is almost always done because, when relaxed, the mouth stays open. We also use cotton to fill out hollow cheeks or give the appearance of teeth to those who have none, or are missing a few. The device under the eye is actually a serrated plastic eye cap that helps keep the eye closed. I do not enjoy the look of them, so I don't use them. Cotton is usually sufficient to use under an eyelid if the eye has deflated. However, we usually don't need to use anything under the eyelid at all. As for your last question, if someone hasn't recently evacuated their bowels they may defecate upon death (but not always.

I grew up living in a cemetery and used to help dig / re-open the graves (my dad was the gravedigger). It has left me with absolutely zero belief in ghosts,and a quiet and calm acceptance of death as a natural process.

Just wondered how you view the subject of ghosts and all the other cliches connected with graveyards?

I feel much the same as you. I have yet to see anything that convinced me of the presence of ghosts. If they do exist, I'm sure they could think of better places to be than haunting me at the funeral home ;)

Thank you for the details of embalming. Respectful and professional.

I'm having second thoughts about being cremated now.

1. Is the body still a person or just a human body?

2. Does the dead person's religion change the embalming routine?

Many thanks.

Thank you so much.

In my humble opinion, the deceased is a vessel where life once existed. I still treat that person with respect, but the spark that made them who they are is no longer there.

Certain religions do not embalm (Jewish and Muslim are the two that come to mind immediately). They believe the body should be buried with all it's components. So removing the blood would be a violation of their beliefs. They adhere to a more "natural" idea of burial that involves shrouding the deceased and/or placing them in a natural pine box.

Bloody hell, they are giving the guardian picks out like it was Xmas, quick think of a question!

My actual questions (coughs, prepares..)

1- How do you keep up to date with current techniques? Are there conferences, trade magazines and an active collaborative community of..embalmers?

2- Can you elaborate on the techniques involved in more violent deaths? What is the most drastic repair work you have had to do and have you ever found this distressing to do or can you just zone out and focus on the task at hand regardless?

3- Related to the above, have you ever been really moved by something you've seen? After all these are real people and you must get a fascinating insight into their lives, maybe some of them haven't been seen naked for years.

Thanks

You sure seem to have a lot of questions for this lowly mortician. Anyway, despite the minor insult, I'll answer your questions...

We must take continuing education classes in order to keep current with our licenses (which must be renewed every 2 years). There are also trade magazines and private funeral forums where we discuss issues.

The more violent deaths involve autopsies and require all the limbs and head be embalmed separately. The organs are also treated separately and placed back into the cavity post embalming. There is a great deal of suturing (the y incision on the body and the cranial incision of the head)

There have been many instances that have had great impact on my life. I'm extremely outspoken about the issue of domestic violence after handling the funeral of a 20 year old young lady who was shot by her boyfriend (who then turned the gun on himself). Children are always difficult as well.

As for the most difficult restoration. That would have to be making a nose for a lady that had craniofacial cancer.

I am in the UK and was always under the impression that at least partial embalming was done for viewing purposes. Is it necessary to allow viewing without extreme distress? Or can folk choose no embalming whether they are buried or cremated?

Embalming is not required by law (except in certain instances, and only in certain states). Here in NJ you are only required to be embalmed if you're being transported across state lines. Some people choose to embalm before viewing because they prefer the life like appearance that embalming imparts. Some are embalmed, have a viewing and are cremated. It's strictly the choice of the family. From what I understand, embalming is not common in the UK, but that doesn't mean that the morticians don't set the features. I'm assuming this may be what you're referring to. It is possible to set the features (close the eyes and mouth) and cosmetize the deceased for viewing without embalming.

Do you believe in any kind of conscious existence after physical death? (needn't neccesarily be limited to religious/spiritual concepts of 'afterlife.)

Great article/interview, very interesting.

Thank you. I guess if call myself agnostic. So of hope something wonderful exists after death.

I was a funerals manager for ten years and it was the first page a Stephen Kings Pet Cemetery that made me want to join that profession. What spiked your curiosity?

(for those who haven't read it, the first page gives a list of people who wrote about the things they saw and the things they did...famous people throughout history. Underneath is another list of people who never wrote about the things they saw and did. They were the undertakers who buried and embalmed the first lot. The page ends with "Death is a mystery but burial a secret." )

Dom, very interesting! My dad tried to buy a funeral home when I was 12 and they wouldn't sell it to him because he wasn't licensed. I told him not to worry, because I'd be a mortician when I grew up and we could buy a funeral home together. My father has always had an interest in the death care industry and the afterlife and I guess it rubbed off on me as a small child.

Thank you for your contribution!

Have you ever considered surreptitiously stealing body parts, moving to a gothic German castle, then sewing them together and animating your creation by pulling a huge switch during a lightning storm while laughing maniacally?

My son's name is Victor (after Mary Shelley's Victor Frankenstein). So the answer is, of course ;)

Do you ever arrange the bodies in amusing poses?

I definitely have not, but my dad requested he be displayed face down in his casket so all the people he didn't like could kiss his behind!

Was Six Feet Under an accurate portrayal of your profession?

It was one of my favorite shows! The prep room and embalming equipment were accurate depictions. Some of the restorative methods they used were very imaginative, but not at all accurate. It's been quite some time since I've seen it, so if have to give it a review to point out specifics.

Is embalming just for the pre-burial (or -cremation) viewing? Is that commonplace in the US? (I've been to a few funerals here in England and I've never seen it or heard of it being done.)

What do you think of the environmental impact of embalming chemicals? Is embalming fluid still formaldehyde based?

How much reconstructive surgery do you do in a case where someone is seriously injured, and when do you just look at someone and say 'no'?

Park-Mustacchio? Brilliant.

Excellent questions! Thank you.

Embalming is usually selected when there's a public viewing followed by a burial (or cremation). Last I checked the cremation rate in the US was around 40% (and many of the people choosing this option are not embalmed). So, my educated guess is that around 60% of people in the US are still embalmed.

The funeral industry is moving away from formaldehyde based fluids and opting to use glutaraldehyde based fluids (which is considered to be the "greener" embalming option). Glutaraldehyde is also used to sterilize medical equipment in certain corcumstances and is far less toxic than formaldehyde.

I will always attempt reconstruction if the family requests it, but I would advise against viewing if I didn't feel like my attempt was presentable. Sometimes anything is better than the last memory a person was left with. If someone who died tragically was found by their loved one, it is my job to try my best to restore the appearance and give that loved one a more pleasant memory than the one they were left with.

If a man dies and he didn't shave that day, do you shave him?

Yes.